check out sumino's doll ...

 

let's pretend !

Let's pretend as adults .. because that what adults do , I thought you were my best friend the one that I can be myself around ,the one that I can stop pretending around , the person who will never judge me. who'll never call me "drama queen" , well for long long time of my life I was alone all by my self , there were no people around me , no friends no family , so yes I learned from the movies and cartoons, I learned how to live from the movies because for long time I thought  movies were made to represent the real life , I thought everyone's lives is a story , I didn't know that we can't cry in public , I didn't know that we only express our feelings in movies !  that we only talk in movies , we only love in movies , I didn't know that the "best friend"  is a myth !  I thought that we suppose to talk about our problems with our best friends , I thought it was ok to complain about life with your best friend , because you were my guide to the real world , and you never called me drama queen before , you used to listen to me and talk with me ! , because you used to tell me that you love me and it didn't sound weird, because you once said I was the only one you can open up to! you are the one to blame , you made me believe the movies , everyone else were laughing at me , they used to call me a freak but you were the only one I trust , I don't  know what happened ! why did you stop talking with me ? why did you stop checking on me ? why did you called me drama queen ? why didn't you listen ? is it because we are adults now ? I always knew that adults pretend like everything is fine but I thought you were the one that I can be kid around , I thought we'll never be adults to each other , maybe I'm holding you back in life ?! maybe I'm just a loser ? I'm not sure what to think anymore , but you are not that person I once knew and loved , now you are an adult , so let's just set together smile to each other until this ceremony ends and pretend as adults , because that what adults do .

  

Between Teru and Hinata ..!

That doesn't really happen does it ? popular boys never fall for invisible girls . Maybe if the girl is so damn beautiful but normally if she's beautiful she would be popular too though . Anyway it's sweet how the two most popular boys in school are fighting over poor sumino and she get to choose between them ! it's like a reward for being patient .

But speaking of the real world , what do guys look for in girls ? from my personal experience I would say good looks ,I know different people have different perceptions but most men share the same opinions when it comes to girls . I firmly believe that the "deep sincere love" is not exist anymore so I think looks is the first priority in choosing a mate for both girls and guys .

living in darkness..!

While reading "koko ni iru yo" I was thinking that I acted the same as sumino when I felt lonely , I turned to the internet .I think a lot of people would do that because online communication is safe , you can hide behind a user name . So why do we fear facing people ? well this is one question with so many answers .There's those people who have been betrayed and backstabbed by their closest friends so they lost faith and trust , there's others who found themselves in a very embarrassing situations led them to isolation from the rest of the world , or those who have been suffering from being used by others so they just gave up . And lastly but not least the parents , its shocking how parents can ruin their kids lives without knowing it or maybe knowing but not caring . Judging the kids , abusing them , isolating them from the world under the pretext of protecting them , disciplining them in front of strangers or their friends....etc. I think "parents" are number one cause of "social phobia" and loneliness because they think they own the child ,for God sake give your kids a break .

a summary..!

here is a summary of the manga  in case you haven't read it yet...

I've always waited in the dark world for the person who will find me. 

remember when I was young playing "hide and seek" with the kids , no matter how long I waited no one ever found me , and I went home crying..

all of sudden..my world turned around..

I've always been watching over you...

p.s:click the images to see a larger version.

here we go..!

So ! I bet you found plenty of blogs inspired by sumino's , I know I did . Before creating this thing I googled "himawari's blog" and "1 cm of happiness" like I just said there was many ,most of them were diaries and few were people pretending to be sumino dunno why ! but all of them were lonely .This is what makes "koko ni iru yo" different ,it touches a nerve , some people may read that manga and forget about it but there's others keep reading it over and over again and cry every time , I want to talk about the "others".

Well let's get to the point , I've been there , I know how it feels to be alone . as a matter of fact I haven't figured my way out yet ,but I think I should figure out the reasons first . So you're saying you wanna talk about the "reasons of being lonely" , NO well not only the reasons , to be honest I dunno yet ! I'm not quite sure why in earth did I made a blog while I'm suck at writing and not fluent in english! but I know it has something to do with "koko ni iru yo".

sumino hikage